Most people think foreplay is that brief moment in the bedroom between that ‘special kiss’ and sexual penetration. They think that a little bit of quality ‘necking’, a brief nibble on the ear and perhaps a few ‘sweet nothings’ is what constitutes all the moves required to master the fine art of ‘getting her in the mood’. The reality is, a huge part of a woman’s arousal occurs in her mind, and you can start arousing this part of her long before you first set foot in the bedroom.

Rather than bore you with a bunch of useless theory to get my point across, I want to share with you all an old favourite foreplay process of mine. (not to be used the first time you sleep with a woman, ideally the 2nd or 3rd time, if she knows you too well, some of the magic will be lost)

1) You create a sex-box, with chocolate, silk cloth, perhaps a flower, a feather, a few strawberries, blind-fold, handcuffs, ipod and headphones etc (add things if you like)

2) You line up a date, perhaps a dinner at a restaurant. For added effect, let her know you have a plan for the evening, but can’t tell her much about it but she has to follow the rules. Tell her what she has to wear (fuck me boots for example)

3) When she meets you at the restaurant, you have a padlocked box sitting on the table. She will ask about it, you can’t tell her anything, just smile and tell her to stop being nosey. Tell her that it’s for later. Ideally the box would have enough metallic items to clank when box is shaken, this adds to the effect if she’s trying to work the box out. She barely knows you, you’ve only slept together once or twice, and you show up to a date with a clanking tool box, this creates sexual anticipation mixed with a touch of fear.

4) Throughout the date, she will constantly refer to the box. Just be silent about it, except that she will find out about it later.

5) Back at her/your house, take control. Kiss her passionately for a second then, take her by the hand to the bedroom (this would be easy, you’ve already slept together before).

6) Sit her on the bed, tell her to lie down. Take out the handcuffs first, if she’s uncomfortable with this, then they can be left aside (don’t want her to be too scared), just cuff one of her hands for effect. If no handcuffs, inform her that she must leave her hands above her head on the bed at all times. Put the blind fold on her, followed by the ipod with the headphones. You have just removed her sense of hearing and sense of sight, thus heightening her sense of smell, taste, and sense of touch.

7) You can kiss her body (avoid nipples and vagina), as you slowly undress her. Once down to her underwear, use the feather or the silk to gently caress her skin. The feeling will be very heightened because she will be a bit scared and full of anxious sexual anticipation, AND she can’t see or hear what is going on.

8) Kiss her gently on the bottom lip, but don’t let her tongue-kiss you back. Instead gently rub a strawberry over her lips, just under her nose so that she can smell that it is a strawberry. Let her take a bite, then kiss/bite her on the neck (very sensitive part of the body).

9) Do the same with the chocolate

10) Start to pay more attention to her breasts, taking your time before you get to the nipples.

11) take the feather and gently caress her inner thighs, all the way up until it’s almost touching her best bits

12) fully remove her clothes and go down on her.

13) I’m sure you can work it out from here.

You can start your foreplay long before you enter the bedroom. It’s about mental games (of the good kind) that you play to get her aroused, creating intrigue, taking control as a man, mild fear, and heightening senses.

In my opinion, good sex is 70% in her mind and 30% technique. Too many guys focus on how to give good oral, or how to thrust in a certain way, or what position to get her in. Often, what’s going on in her head and learning to control that is a LOT more powerful than any physical sexual technique.

Even guys who suffer from premature ejaculation, if you followed the above scenario, and made sure to give her decent oral, she’d think you were an amazing lover.