Over the years, I've received a great many emails from men wanting to know how to talk to girls. Of course the way the question is asked varies from knowing what to say the first time you meet a girl, or how to tell a girl you've known for years how you really feel about her all the way to how to really communicate with a woman you've been dating for the last 5 years.

Although each and every man's individual situation was different the basics for getting a woman to look up, pay you attention and develop respect for you is always the same. You see it's not nearly has hard to communicate with women as many men think, the problem for most of us guys is the way we go about trying to communicate with women.

The universal truth of talking to girls is 'ITS NOT WHAT WE SAY, BUT HOW WE SAY IT" . When we are at a house party and we are introduced to an attractive woman we'd like to get to know better, our mind starts racing with what we can say to get her attention and cause her to like us. This attractive woman on the other hand is doing a lot more 'watching' than actual 'listening'. She can tell a lot more about you from your body and the way you talk than she ever could from your words alone.

Today I want to offer you some non-verbal communication tools to help you talk to girls more effectively. Following these tips will be far more valuable in gaining a woman's interest and communicating to her all the messages you want to communicate than trying to learn the latest and greatest chat up lines.



1) HOLD SOLID EYE CONTACT
When you are nervous and/or tense, your eyes tend to dart around nervously, this is not something you want to happen because when you are being dishonest or secretive your eyes also tend to dart around nervously. I have watched many a great honest man approach women to talk to them only to find the woman thinks he seems a bit 'creepy' and backs herself out of the conversation at the first available moment. Contrary to what many men feel, the main difference between a confident man and a creepy man, is not what he says, but rather it is his eye contact.

Hold solid eye contact with women when talking to them and they will instantly pay more attention to you, give you more respect, and feel more comfortable around you.

2) OPEN BODY LANGUAGE
Think back to your childhood and your favourite childhood cartoons, Snow white, 101 Dalmations, the Smurfs. Now think about the villains in these cartoons. They are portraid has always being bent over, back hunched, eyes downward and hards together rubbing together in a conniving fashion. This is more commonly known as closed off body language, and we naturally adopt it at times when we have something to hide, or when we feel insecure.

You want to always be standing with feet a shoulder width apart, with your shoulders back, eyes at or above the horizon, and hands out of pockets. You also want to avoid having your hands or arms crossed as it belies hidden truth or insecurity. When a man stands tall and proud, he lets the people around him know that he is confident and has nothing to hide.

3) TALK WITH YOUR HANDS
When learning how to talk to girls, every man wants to work on holding her attention and interest for as long as possible. One of the major keys to holding a listener's attention is through being animated. Imagine two different men talking to a woman. Man no. 1 is standing with his hands locked by his sides, perhaps in his pockets and he is speaking in a boring monotonous voice about his job, while Man no. 2 is gesticulating wildly while talking excitedly about what he does for work. Which man do you think is going to get all the attention?

We as humans are drawn to people who are animated. Being animated and passionate while talking are extremely useful tools for gaining and keeping a girls' attention while talking to her. Conversation will flow more smoothly and she will be more likely to get involved herself.


When talking to women in general, remember that what you are saying with your body is far more powerful than what you are saying with your words. The perfect 'pick up' is all in the doing and not in the saying, women trust what they see far more than what they hear, and if you wish to perfect the art of talking to and attracting women then you owe it to yourself to work on your body language long before you start worrying about saying the perfect words.