So there’s this one girl you really like, but to her, you’re just a really sweet guy who she just wants to be friends with. All guys know the feeling – Getting stuck in the friendzone sucks big time! Today, I’m going to give 4 proven strategies for escaping and permanently staying out of the friend zone.
First there is an important truth pill you have to swallow – 99% of guys who are stuck in the friendzone got there because they believe that if they are really ‘nice’ to the women they like, that those women will realise what great guys they are and want to start dating them.
This is completely wrong!
You are stuck in the friendzone BECAUSE you are too nice to her. You are stuck there because you’ve gone and put her on a pedastle and given her a whole bunch of special treatment she hasn’t even earned.
Yes women want guys to treat them well, but they are sexually repelled by men who treat them so well that the guy’s own wants and needs suffer. Ultimately, women want a man who will look after his own needs first before he looks after hers.
So with that in mind, here are the four proven steps to escaping the friends zone:
Stop giving her special treatment – Stop treating her like she’s a friend who is more special than your other friends. Don’t make unique time just for her, don’t dedicate 5x as much time to hanging out with her as you would anyone else in your life. Stop giving her compliments unless she has done something special to deserve them – honestly guys, how often do you compliment your guy friends? Any time you want to do something for her ask yourself “Do I do things like this for my guy friends?” If the answer is NO then you shouldn’t do it for her either.
You have to start teasing her – Now I don’t mean you have to start making her feel crap about herself, but you DO have to start being willing to make fun of her in a friendly playful way. Guys who get stuck in the friend zone are so busy sucking up to women that they forget to make fun of them from time to time as you would your regular guy friends. Tease her that her outfit looks like it fell out of an 80s sitcom, or that it’s cool how she’s short because you’ve always needed a portable beer stand. This will break you out of the ‘nice guy’ mold and start getting her to see you differently.
Start Moving On Without Her – Many guys find this a difficult step but it’s absolutely crucial. Once you’re stuck in the friend zone, the only way out is to be willing to date other women and move on. If you are out with her and see a cute girl, comment on it like you would with your mates, say ‘oh damn that girl is hot as sin!’, then go and talk to the girl. Let your crush see you moving on to other women. You aren’t doing this to play games with your crush, you’re doing it because you’re a man who isn’t going to wait forever for a girl you like to like you back. This is really healthy for you, AND it will signal to your crush a very powerful shift in the power balance between the two of you. She will realise that she won’t be able to control you or command your time and attention anymore, she will start to see you as a man who has options, and seeing you with other women will allow to to see you as a sexual human being once again.
Tell her you like her – Guys get so worried about this step because they fear what will happen to their friendship. But I’ll tell you this right now. You are better off losing a friendship than being stuck pining for a woman you will never have. But the good news is that telling a female friend you have feelings for her doesn’t have to ruin the friendship. The key is to be being willing to let go of your feelings for her if she doesn’t like you back. If you can tell a friend you have a crush on her, get rejected, then go back to being a regular friend one week later without acting all awkward and crazy around her, then she won’t be awkward around you and the friendship will go on STRONGER than it was before.
Now I have to give you a warning guys – Don’t skip any of these steps or you’ll fail for sure. Each step is an important part of a process that allows her to re-adjust her impressions of you.
Of course there is never a guarantee that your crush will like you back, but if you don’t complete the above steps, then you’ll never really know for sure. And people always most regret the things they never do and say.
Let me know how this goes for you in the comments below, I always answer any questions my viewers ask.
Who We Are
School of Attraction is a dating education company with one motto: "Leave No Single Man Behind". We provide free and paid courses for men to achieve success with women.
Started by Damien Diecke in 2008, SOA has gone on to become Australia's largest dating coaching company, now setting it's sights worldwide.
The Ultimate Cheatsheet
Double Your Matches With This Tinder Profile Picture Infographic