How do you flirt with a girl you really like?
It’s not as easy as it sounds, is it? You get nervous. Your mind starts racing. Is your body posture okay? Oh god did you remember to wear deodorant??
You look around at those other guys who seem to have no problem playfully teasing cute girls, some of these guys might even be your friends. They do it so effortlessly, as though it’s embedded in their DNA.
But it wasn’t, they just learned the witty banter from their surroundings growing up.
The great news is that you can learn it too, by just putting in a little bit of work every day for a few weeks.
If you’re serious about learning how to flirt with girls, then you need to teach your brain a new pattern of thinking, otherwise you’re just going to repeat the same awkward, boring conversations over and over again.
Today I’m going to show you a proven system that empowers any man to dramatically improve his ability to be flirty and funny in any social context.
Keep reading to learn how…
THE GROUNDHOG METHOD
In 2005, I couldn’t tease girls to save my life. I remember it vividly… I’d try to talk to a girl, the conversation would get epically dull and things would go downhill fast. I just wasn’t the playful, flirty guy that would hold a woman’s attention for long.
2 weeks later, things changed dramatically…
After Using the Groundhog Method for 14 days, I was making girls laugh every night I went out. I became that guy and my friends were starting to take notice.
2 months later, Girls were commenting to my friends about how much fun I was, and telling me how much they’d like to be around me again.
Suddenly I was being invited to awesome parties and events by people I had just met. They wanted me at their parties because I was a fun guy to be around.
You can easily build the same skill set…. Even if you’re normally introverted.
THE 5 STEPS TO USING THE GROUNDHOG METHOD
The Groundhog Method is really simple
Here are the five steps:
STEP 1: Go to an online dating site
STEP 2: Find profiles of women you like
STEP 3: Pick a profile and note standout features
STEP 4: Explore all possible teases for 5 minutes
STEP 5: Do 5 profiles like this every day for 2 weeks
Here’s why the method works so well (and what it has to do with groundhogs)
Groundhog Day was a movie starring Bill Murray as a grumpy and unlucky man who is doomed to re-live the same day over and over again. Through this forced repetition, Bill has masters the art of being humble and kind to his fellow man.
Focused repetition is indeed the key to mastering any new skill, and with the Groundhog Method, my goal was to apply rigorous focus for 30 minutes every day on one very specific skill set until I had it mastered – Looking for ways to playfully tease people.
Wanna know how I did it, so you can copy me and get the same results I did?
STEP 1: GO TO AN ONLINE DATING SITE
I sought out an appropriate dating site I could use for my daily practice.
There are lots of around. Here are the criteria for what you want:
1. It had to be free to search
2. It had to have lots of female profiles
3. The search needed to enable me to specify my taste in women
The site that I decided on was Plenty of Fish because it met all my criteria perfectly. It’s the site I recommend to all my clients.
STEP 2: FIND PROFILES OF WOMEN YOU LIKE
Plenty of Fish is easy to use for searches. There are 3 search options. For this process just stick to the ‘basic’ search:
This is followed by a long list of search criteria:
Of all these options, there area only 5 sets of criteria that I focused on:
I learned to set the age of women to 25-35 regardless of my age. WHY? Because women in these age ranges write the longest profile descriptions which is important for the Groundhog Method
I selected “I want a relationship”, “I am putting in serious effort to find someone” , and “I am serious and I want to find someone to marry”. Similar to above, I wanted to target profiles that women have put effort into with lots of photos and a decent profile description. Women just looking for casual sex, or nothing serious don’t put nearly as much time or effort into their profiles which would make later steps harder to accomplish
I put in my favourite ethnicity here as well. This isn’t critical, but women with different cultures often write different types of profiles, just as they’ll have slightly different types of discussions in real life. Better to target the type you like now and get the best kind of practice you can.
STEP 3: CHOOSE A PROFILE AND NOTE ANY STANDOUT FEATURES
I then clicked through each the profiles until I had one with at least 3 photos, and 5 lines of written profile description.
I’d take a moment to have a quick look through the profile. My goal was to lookout for something I felt could be potential banter material.
For example, take a moment to think about what pops out at you from the photo below:
Here are the things in this photo which I made note of:
1. She’s on a motorbike
2. It has gold wheels
3. She’s riding a bike in a miniskirt
4. She calls it her ‘bae’
Now see what pops out at you from what she wrote in her profile:
Here are the things I made instant note of in her profile:
1. Her layout is very orderly
2. She uses hashtags for no reason
3. I note she talks about animals and food in the same sentence
STEP 4: SPEND 5 MINUTES BRAINSTORMING TEASES
In then grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. I set a timer on my phone for 5 minutes while I wrote down as many possible ways I could joke or tease her about what I saw in her profile.
What was most important to me was that I didn’t hold back on anything that I wrote down. I wasn’t trying to ONLY write down the really good things, instead I was trying to open up my mind to throwing out whatever it came up with in those 5 minutes.
Below is a list of ideas from the above profile. You’ll notice that some of them are good and some are horrible. But at all times, I’m flexing a special muscle in my brain without squashing my creativity.
1. You like good food AND animals I see! I’ve been known to cuddle up and pet my pizza on the couch while I watch TV as well!
2. So you like to ride things that are white huh?
3. So riding a motorbike isn’t enough, you had to have gold wheels as well!
4. I can see you hate pretentious people so much you had to get golden wheels on your bike as an IRONY statement huh?
5. I can see your Love, Like, Dislike list, someone’s a little bit of an organisation nazi 😉
6. What part of Asia do blondes come from??
7. “me and bae” huh? Dating a motorbike must be fun, it never speaks back to you
8. Don’t you just hate it when you go out for a motorbike ride and realise you forgot to wear pants?
9. Do you ride a motorbike for the speed, or the vibrations?
REMEMBER: I wouldn’t necessarily say all these teases to a girl. This is just a sample of ideas that came to mind without being filtered for what would be appropriate to say in person.
STEP 5: DO THIS FOR 5 PROFILES A DAY EVERY DAY FOR 2 WEEKS
Once my timer went off, I stopped writing and found another profile to brainstorm with.
I would repeat this process 5 times a day. I found that after 30 minutes of brainstorming, my brain felt like it had just had a good workout.
It was really difficult in the beginning, but as each day passed, I could feel it getting easier and easier. After a few days, it started to become fun, and I started coming up with some KILLER teases.
Regular practice is the key to changing the way our brains work, so I made sure to do this every single day to ensure my brain would effectively re-wire itself into the brain of a guy who finds playful banter easy.
So that’s how I radically improved my flirting skills in just 14 days.
Unlike with canned lines and pickup routines where you have a limited amount of material that might not be appropriate in every context, I was able to think of things to say organically no matter who I was talking to or how long I had known them.
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School of Attraction is a dating education company with one motto: "Leave No Single Man Behind". We provide free and paid courses for men to achieve success with women.
Started by Damien Diecke in 2008, SOA has gone on to become Australia's largest dating coaching company, now setting it's sights worldwide.
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