By week 9 of Sincere Seduction Intensive, Ben was almost a different man. He swaggered a bit when he walked, he smiled a lot more when he’d talk to me… He used to have a perpetual frown when we first met.
He was happier and more comfortable in his own skin. He was on a few dates every week now, and his friends were starting to hassle him to show them how he was doing so well with women all of a sudden.
But that didn’t mean everything was perfect for him. He still had a lot to learn. He was a bit frustrated this week when we had our weekly talk….
“Damien, I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong sometimes.. I see a cute girl, and I go up to her and I’m funny, my body language is great, I’m doing a great job! I know I am! And yet sometimes the girl just doesn’t want anything to do with me…
It’s annoying because I’ve worked so hard on myself, but when I get rejected by these women it makes me feel like I must be doing something terribly wrong” I could tell that this was something Ben had been stewing over for a week or two already before bringing it up with me. “
MYTH: A MAN WHO IS GREAT WITH WOMEN CAN GET ANY WOMAN HE SETS HIS MIND TO
“I remember feeling this frustration myself once upon a time.. It wore on my nerves for months before it finally dawned on me…”
“What dawned on you?” Said Ben, hoping to hear the magic technique that would make those other women like him.
“Well, let me ask you a question. Why SHOULD those women like you?”
“Because I was funny and charming, and I think I’ve got a lot to offer”
“But do you think women should just fall for EVERY charming man that comes their way? Or do you think that sometimes women meet guys who do and say all the right things but those men just aren’t the right kind of guy for them?”
“Oh…. Wait… Are you saying there will be women who just aren’t going to like me that way no matter what I do?”
“Precisely! When us guys get working on this attraction stuff, we get so focused on the idea that every time a woman doesn’t want to give us her number that we must have done something wrongly, because in the early days that’s usually the case.
But we lose sight of the fact that we aren’t a good match for every woman out there. In truth, there are plenty of women out there who would hate to hang out with me! I’m okay with that because I like who I am, and there are plenty of other women who would love to be around me. My ego doesn’t depend on being able to win the affections of every girl I talk to”
“Wow… Yeah I suppose that makes sense… But then how come I’ve never seen you or any of the other coaches fail when you approach a woman? It just never seems to happen to you guys.”
“Hahaha…. That’s an illusion created because we’ve learned a magic trick that you will only learn in time. If I go to a bar, I can spot which women I’m going to get along well with, and which are just the wrong personality for me. And I’m pretty damn accurate at it now. But if you picked all my women for me, then you’d see me bomb out from time to time”
“I never realised.. I just assumed you guys were pretty close to perfect an didn’t make mistakes anymore”
“Nope, we’re definitely not perfect! And in truth, every man you know who seems to pick up a never ending stream of women uses the same trick whether he’s aware of it or not.
You watch the kind of women he’s picking up and almost all of them will have a very similar personality to each other. He’s learned how to pick women who match a personality profile that blends very well with his own. “
“I feel a lot better about my progress so far…”
“And so you should Ben!”
TRUTH #5: NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU GET WITH WOMEN, THERE WILL STILL BE PLENTY OF WOMEN WHO WILL TURN YOU DOWN EVEN IF YOU DO EVERYTHING RIGHT
After finishing the Sincere Seduction Intensive course, Ben continued to head out with the School of Attraction community guys for many months – He was regularly meeting women, and he had a regular flow of casual sex partners.
After about 4 months, something strange happened. Ben realised now that he had the ‘playboy lifestyle’ he had always dreamed of.
He had quickly grown bored of it and found himself less interested in trying to pick up lots of women, and more and more focused on trying to find one really amazing woman for a longer term relationship.
This wasn’t a surprise to me, the playboy lifestyle sounds like fun, and it really is fun.. But it quickly loses it’s shine. This is a shift most men make quite soon after they reach their attraction goals.
18 months later I got an email from Ben telling me he had met the woman he had always dreamed of. He said that he would always remember the pivotal role our chats had played in leading his life to this point.
There was nothing remarkable or unique about Ben from the outset – He wasn’t good looking, or wealthy, or powerful. In fact he was mildly depressed when we first met, and his outlook on life was pretty bleak.
But he dared to believe that he could get more out of life if he trusted a good coach to show him the way.
CAN YOU RELATE TO BEN?
Do you struggle with some limiting beliefs? Do you struggle with Anxiety? Are you feeling frustrated that no matter what you do, women just don’t seem to notice you in ‘that way’?
It’s men just like you and Ben who I care about, and have a passion for and want to help as much as I can
You’ve made it all the way to the end of the article so I know that I like you because you see things through. Let’s have a chat on the phone just you and me man to man and I’d love to hear your story.
Click the link below and complete the form and I’ll have a half hour consultation with you to help in any way that I can
Who We Are
School of Attraction is a dating education company with one motto: "Leave No Single Man Behind". We provide free and paid courses for men to achieve success with women.
Started by Damien Diecke in 2008, SOA has gone on to become Australia's largest dating coaching company, now setting it's sights worldwide.