This is the story of one of my earliest students Ben – and the 5 myths about women that were standing between him and a life where beautiful successful women were a regular part of his world.
It all began with an angry phone call…..
“I just called to say that your course can’t work for me, so would you please take me off your mailing list, you’re just insulting my intelligence”
It was 8:30 am on a Sunday morning, and I just finished making myself breakfast when my Sydney office phone diverted to my mobile and I spoke to Ben for the first time. He sounded angry.. offended even..
I recognised the inflections in his voice, the terse way the words were being spat into the phone. I had challenged something deep inside of Ben with an email and to accept the truth of what he read would have meant changing his whole world view, and that upset him greatly.
“Sure, bud, I can do that for you, let me just get my computer started up…” I said, as I put down my plate on the table, and made my way to my home-office. “While I get it booted, do you mind if I ask why you don’t feel we can help you?”
“Damien” he sighed, pausing to frame his words “Let me tell you… I’m a man of science.. And at first I was really attracted to the idea of getting a dating coach, until I started reading a number of research papers which clearly showed that women prefer men who are wealthy and powerful. And I am neither of those. I’m a mid level IT guy, I live in a small studio apartment.
Women don’t look at me twice once they know I don’t have a fancy job. I mean, you can’t sit there and tell me that I’m wrong, but everywhere I look, I see rich/powerful/famous men with all the hot women. So maybe you can help already successful men, but you can’t help men like me, it’s pure science and I don’t like guys like you trying to make me believe otherwise”
MYTH #1: WOMEN ONLY WANT RICH/POWERFUL MEN
“I see…” I said while putting his phone number from caller id into my database to find his email subscription. ” I don’t disagree with the results of those scientific studies at all… Indeed, it is easier for men with success and power to get hot women. However, there is an important part of the story missing…
Let me propose an alternative experiment to you. I want you to picture two men, Man A has been a low level employee at the same company for 3 years, Man B Started his own company 3 years ago. Suppose I put both men into a room full of women to chat with them for an hour, but neither man is allowed to talk about his career, his income or anything he owns.
At the end of the hour, we ask the women to rate the men on sexual appeal. Who do you think will get the highest ratings? “
“Well I’d bet anything that they would rate the entrepreneur as the most attractive. He’d be the most confident because he’s wealthy”
“Now wait a minute – Don’t you see the problem here? You’re a man of science after all – You said it was the wealth and power that mattered. Then when I remove any way for women to know which man is wealthy and powerful, it seemed obvious to you that the successful guy would STILL appear the most appealing to women.
Surely if it were just about wealth and power, then each man would score equally. If I were a research scientist, I’d call that a fly in the ointment for the theory that wealth/power are truly what’s attracting women”
“But you just admitted earlier that it’s much easier for wealthy and powerful men to get women!” Ben said, now sounding more than a little frustrated with me. Being shown a conflict in his logic was obviously upsetting.
“Ahh yes, but you’ve got your reasoning back to front. It’s not so much the wealth and power that’s key to attraction, although those features certainly don’t hurt… It’s the personality features a guy who is wealthy or powerful tends to have.
Think about it.. Women want a man who is self-sufficient, passionate, able to take charge, driven, in control of his surroundings…
Simply put, rather than a man who HAS power, women actually want a man who is EMPOWERED! I’ve heard you talk about your life just now, and you don’t sound empowered at all…
You sound dis-empowered and so I’m not surprised women don’t look at you twice, but it’s not because you aren’t earning much money. “
“Can you blame me? No man in my position can feel empowered. Thats why you have to become successful first don’t you?” While still a bit irritated, Ben’s voice had begun to soften a little.
I knew that I was saying was starting to make sense to him.
“Now see, that’s what a disempowered man thinks to himself… I have a coach working for me right now called Louis. Louis is 31 years old, He works as a pest inspector, and he lives with his parents..
He has less reason to be appealing to women than you do, but yet he’s super empowered, and has more dates than he knows what to do with.
Do you know why? Because 1 year ago, he decided he wanted to buy a house for himself, so he moved back in with his parents to start saving money, Now he’s only 5 months off buying his first property.
Six Months ago, he started running 4 days a week after work to keep healthy and in shape, and over the last month he has started enquiring about starting out on his own as a sub-contractor rather than working for someone else.
Louis has no money, he doesn’t have a fancy job, and he lives with his parents, but Louis is empowered, Louis is taking charge of his life, and women are flocking to him as a result.”
“Oh, that kind of makes sense…. I’m still not sure if I’m convinced, but what you’re saying makes a lot of sense.. However you don’t teach life coaching, you just teach how to attract women so how can you help me with this?”
“Well… why don’t you make your first move towards becoming an empowered man by vowing to take charge of your success with women?
You can start becoming empowered by focusing on any 1 aspect of your life, so why not start here? In fact, let me make you a bet.
I bet that if you come out with me for a single coaching session, I can prove to you that I can make you feel empowered enough to not just get women looking at you twice, but to get them giving you phone numbers.
Would that start to make you believe in empowerment? What’s more, if I don’t show you that, I’ll give you your money back – It’s only $200 for one night, so for you, it’s win-win”
“Well… I suppose it can’t hurt to try, but I’m still not convinced you can help” – Ben would soon discover these were famous last words…
TRUTH #1: WOMEN WANT A MAN WHO IS EMPOWERED TO TAKE CHARGE OF HIS LIFE
Who We Are
School of Attraction is a dating education company with one motto: "Leave No Single Man Behind". We provide free and paid courses for men to achieve success with women.
Started by Damien Diecke in 2008, SOA has gone on to become Australia's largest dating coaching company, now setting it's sights worldwide.