This article comes with a quick nod to a man named Vilfredo Pareto, no Vilfredo wasn’t a pimp, as hard as it is to believe with an awesome name like that. He was in fact an Italian economist in the beginning of the 20th century who realised that Italians were a lot like peas.
Vilfredo noticed that 80% of the land in Italy was owned by 20% of Italians. He also noticed that 20% of the pea pods in his farm produced 80% of his peas. This unlikely correlation led Pareto to a field of economic study where he observed that in almost any system imaginable, 20% of the input leads to 80% of the output, and often the %’s are more like 10%/90%. In his honour this principal is now known as the Pareto principal, and it is used by businesses around the world.
Now I’ll tell you about an observation that I’ve long had in the pickup community. Guys believe that in order to get better with women, they need to make this ‘pickup’ stuff a top priority in their lives, and get really stressed trying to fit everything efficiently into their very limited 168 hours a week. I regularly read about guys going out 3 and 4 days a week, and those of us unlucky enough to have full time jobs are wondering if we can ever get good at this stuff.
Now this is where the Pareto principal comes into effect. If you want to keep improving with women, you could easily do 80% of the work in 20% of the time. That rule applies as well to pickup as it does to Italian land owners.
Even better, if you just focus on working smart AND hard in a small window of time you could out perform your longer working buddies in 20% of the time. So if a 4 outing a week student does 20 hours of pickup a week, you can achieve much the same and usually better with just 4 hours of work a week. 1 hour of preparation and 3 hours of approaches.
Firstly, those 3 approaching hours are NOT socialising hours. They are NOT relaxing and ‘waiting for your mojo to appear’ hours, they are NOT discussing your game plan with mates hours, they are hard hours of approaching. You can socialise with friends outside of those hours, safe in the knowledge you put in quality hard work.
1 hour every week should be spent on analysing what you did well and badly the week before, and specifying EXACTLY what you are going to work on this week. You should make this as specific as possible, because most men make the mistake of going out with the broad goal of “I’m going to hit on women and hopefully get better” which is a perfect example of the metaphorical “throwing shit at a wall and seeing what sticks” approach.
When you go out to practice pickup with absolutely no clue what skillset you want to perfect, then you are shooting in the dark and there’s no wonder you don’t improve much. So before you go out, you have to decide “What are you out there to accomplish?” Are you trying to polish your openers? Are you working on escalation? Are you working on building rapport? Are you working on humour? Then go out and work ONLY on that skillset, don’t worry about getting numbers, if getting lots of quality numbers was immediately likely then you wouldn’t need the practice in the first place, so stop fooling yourself and go out instead to practice a specific part of the pickup process.
So spending 1 hour a week, 30 minutes dissecting your last night out (hence the importance of field reports), and 30 minutes quality planning and preparing for your next night out, then 3 hours of solid approaching on that night, can in fact yield FAR BETTER results than the student aimlessly approaching women with no game plan.
If you want more for your life than to simply be good with women, then get smart about how you work on this ‘pickup’ aspect of your life, cut the hours down, but make them count.
Most importantly, don’t get lazy with pre-preparing outside of the club, being well prepared makes all the difference in the world. Failing to go out with a specific purpose is akin to going to gym 5 days a week and only eating a banana a day. You simply won’t get bigger/better.
I developed this training principal when working with some of my high performing business clients who had seriously limited time in a week to work on their pickup. What I found is that by making them focus so heavily on using their time effectively (something business clients are already very talented at), they often outperformed other students who got lazy with their pre-preparation and went out 5 times as often.